-Heart Invader-

( A story of an unknown girl...) Her childhood was molded and chiseled with a very fine memories, she got a brood of friends, loving family and happy living despite of being just a poor citizen in a rural place. She lives with so much spirit and enthusiasm that was so rare to spend it everyday. But later would she know that her world will soon turn to a drastic change. Her gathered unfathomed moments collapsed as it caught her in both ends, she never expected it to happen, but fate played the rhythm so well that she cant make any contest. Her thoughts was a way too far from the things going on and the dealings of reality, nothing more she can do about it but to embrace and accept the harsh flip of it all. It is so hard to leave the haven that she got used to live, the oasis of all her being and the place that filled her memory bank. She cant help the tears and let them just flow...secretly, her heart stay still with a pensile throb. It pitched her sharply that left her nowhere...she ne...

Here lies a pretending heart... So firm, so great, with all its might... Master the course of being an actor, Every sinew means to simulate... It could take any range of a worst talk A great fake outside the shell. No one could predict this callous heart... How or what made it so dense. Many had given their judgement Still the secret remains beyond the shape... The hidden color is yet to come. Play must go on with this feign heart... If only they knew...if only they knew... The pretending heart was a putrid one... very untrue and full of lies... Truth is...it is so weak but needs to hide. For its the way of the pretending heart.

" I wrote this poem way back in our lunatic days with my friends...a trade for a dare we agreed." If i will love a man I will love him as i can but i don't give a damn to those foolish "Adam". If ever the time comes I'll meet my someone who will love me as i am I will never be afraid to gamble for the love of that man. And if also we are not destined to be one I will still wait for you my dream man Until my heart's beat gone... "Gosh! I really laugh myself while reading this ...but i admit all words written was all true."

E verybody thinks that she is V ain person A nd a discreet one N o one ever appreciate some G ood details on this E pitome of humility and L oving heart. I t's not important though, N ever she would force E veryone to be impressed. D ay will come for this E xquisite one to rise M oment of timing A nd of that astonishment T ogether with pride she will E merge incomparably.

Exactly four years already since that tragic loss of my supposedly first baby, of course no matter what i do to buried that incident, i just cant. It leaves me something to hold and hope, but all was just a memory already, a beautiful memory of my unborn angel that i did not have a chance to cuddle and held in my arms, yet she doesn't left me in an imaginary land. Now, I am on my way to be said a fully-certified mom (8 months to date and its boy this time). All my love ones are very eager and excited already. Joyful hearts and happy thoughts filled the air and I just cant contained the shower of their love and care. As myself is more excited as they are, I cant wait the time to finally see my angel, hear his cry and feel his warmth against mine. What kind of a mother would i be to him? Could i fulfill the responsibility and would i be the best mom? But surely i will be the mom that he could be proud of. I wanted to be there and share all his "firsts...

Hhhmmm...indulgence is boundless with these insanely sweet duo madness. It steals my heart every time it touches my delicate cant-wait tongue. The beat of my fist-like muscle on my chest leap twice while waiting for it into my opened-mouth. Luscious..soft...and sweet...ohhh...a heavenly feeling I am craving for. Cool...flavorful-chilled sweet creamy sensation that makes me quiver with so much delight and tickles the every string of my taste buds. These two tandem was just one of my weaknesses that surely i cant resist. I can dive into it anytime without a guilt feeling, sweet-tooth yes, its very obvious. Ice cream makes me calm when in a "hot" mood or just feeling a little bit warm, it has the soothing effect that infiltrate and pacify me. It serves as my diversion and a food-mate. The freezing coolness that melts and the flavors that fit..wow..simply delirously delicious. Chocolate on the other hand, make me forget whatever i have in mind but at the same time it fuels my br...

Dwelling with a multi-tunes in a world very peculiar... A total stranger playing a new symphony Unveiled in a different kind of way. The aura that is the afraid of all driven by a selfless reason. A particular one lost soul Praying to be accepted in a whole new world... Here he stands with pride and honor one great man at the center of the pinnacle... At last heart's wish is granted... In a culmination he never really expected Take the steps...rule the stage.

I've been looking for a particular star amid the countless, one stood up. Yet it was shielded with an unknown element. Disguised in many deceiving colors in any way i cant decode. If tailing you is like swimming in a vast ocean hail all creatures, i will befriend the strange. If fate w0n't reveal your true shine fittest of all...come join the force! If believing in a fixed will is impossible I will tame the wildest standing hope. If ever i will find the key to your identity, The luckiest living all over the galaxy was bestowed upon me... I haunted an oh! so rare gem incomparably Heaven and Earth lets rejoice this feast!

Tonight I am waiting for Mr.Moon to kiss me goodnight, but somehow he is hiding beneath those thick clouds, When i saw him..he just passed me by! Even the million stars refuse to twinkle somewhat they planned it and blow me a riddle. My eyes already wanted to rest and sleep yet my thoughts is very much awake. Tightly i hugged a pillow hoping a profound sleep awaits... At last darkness overtakes me. A thief at night lurking at side... one glaze of a silhouette chasing the dreams intruding my peace... The enticing dream in a fairytale land was stole by an unknown strange man.

Oh! Dear playful Cupid... Guide my heart with all your presence May it beat for someone who deserve. Don't let anyone make fool out of it Help me always when my heart ache. May it recovers soon than I expect. Cast out all the hatred reigning And may love wash its pain Sealed my heart from inconceivable feelings Push it to the chamber of good will and let no one tempt its excellence. Pour me even just a bit of your undisputable wisdom of love fate. I'll just pray your arrow won't miss the heart you are going to hit. May you wipe my tears when my heart is not in its place And don't make me lost my patience 'till my true love comes to its existence...

Mind is blocked and has nothing to think... Sitting alone surrounded with silence Heads-up staring at the ceiling . Troubled brain and cant help it. Little noises is already a pain in the neck. Pure blank...no trace of a single hint. All white...no draw of a single clue. Oh! a rare disease no cure means. Struggling to get over with uncertainties intervened then. How in heaven i could clean this mess... Ideas...ideas...such too hard... Chasing with it gone to wild...

Pain was so great that shutted-down all my consciousness...For a moment i was in a place where one dont ever wish to be in. Darkness, pure black, an obscurity that's blinding my eyes. I dont see any single flare of light nor even a fading rays. My mind is almost on the verge of hysteria because i have no inklings about the set where i am. Very sure, i was not in a real world, its like a solitary room for people who fleet from reality...and at that very moment all is coming back to me...seam by seam...from the sphere of bliss to the sudden blast of a painful news... from the happy hearts to the deafening silence of mourn...from anticipating soul to the end of all...I've lost my precious unborn angel...reality slaps me right there and then. Tears was unstoppable... Then my eyes caught a blaze of light yet its unclear, something stirred in me to follow it and while on my way to it i heard a baby's cry...it crippled my heart upon hearing it...i feel my blood was rushing and my ...

Imagine you were stranded in a playful crowd where in you are a total alien and you found yourself blending with them. You cant even distinguish what connects you to dish-up with their conversation. Unknowingly you are going with the flow without the haste of much effort. Your presence that's so eager to be recognize in any means is that you are working for the whole duration of the charade was paid-off. Well, im lucky to get a hap to circulate with these kind of people and know them even just a bit pieces of their lives. They laugh despite of circumstances they have, they talk with out a trace of hesitation and i myself im sure anyone can mingle with them. They have so much fun and makes you giggle that you wish it will linger on. I am talking with those tribe of gays which so happen to be my funniest, wackiest and talented friends. As their "blah blah" statement - " we are just trapped in a male's body but we are really a true woman inside". Ha ha ha, very...

Twenty years of my life had passed, now i am starting for my twenty-first on this planet. Im contemplating those years i spent if did i made it well or just wasted. Very well i could say to myself that even if i didnt made my life to the peak of significance, confidently i have nothing so much to regret. The every dimension of me as a human consist not only myself alone, i breath and i live containing myriad undefined scenes along. I may be lucky or unlucky for some certain things and cant go against the constant law of the universe, still im here...If fleeting is the easiest way to get out of those unbearable hits of befall situations, i already did..., but no, its not getting away that could make me not to feel the jolt. Years and years, accept it or not...people will have a change in different respective aspects of life. We are in a rushing stream where everyone or so to speak abide the current, every thing will flow accordingly to what human does itself. Sometimes a well-planned l...

JHAI, If ever you will forget how to redeem yourself, stop for a moment and then let your eyes have a look around and closely see and feel the every beat of life, small or big...we have it in our hands the reasons to live. Things may get misplaced at times but what matters is you know how to put up the pieces back to its place in a better way-again. Today your life is maybe difficult to define, who knows tomorrow you will already find the exact meaning to fill the blank. Yes it is hard to sail on this world, yet we are not alone. Just think that it is just for a moment and it will also be calm. Pain may struck your heart and hit some chords of your sensitivity, dont let it penetrates to your defenses and let your determination faint. It will surpass, making you a stronger person. We dont have the power to undone things but we have the will not redo things we didnt like. Be more patient if things aren't working in accordance to your expectation, you are not a perfe...